Meet my new friend.

He is always beside me

even after the end

wiping my tears away (what tears? :P)

being my best friend

He smiles when I smile

and feels the pain I do

if I cry a single tear

I can reach out my hands

and out from my heart

He will rest in my palms

Still fresh and plump… prunes

Yay midterms.. Of the midterms.

Really?

We're a quarter through the school year, kind of. Maybe. Like, 15%.

And homework from.. Enriched Chemistry is stressing freshman out?

Freshman?

Buying off Fitness Plans?

AP World charts?

Friendship dramas are acting up. Again?

What. the crap.

We're so.. 8th grade. Why don't some people just look at their future and realize that it's soaked in Bud Light and crack, and then look at their present and realize it's full of smoke and sex?

Well, actually if you're taking AP World, you probably don't do that stuff.

 Instead, why don't we look at our future and realize it's potentially full of great works of science, math, medicine, and arts, and then look at our present and realized B+ isn't a reason to whip ourselves?

Maybe a little bit. So we feel the blood and adrenaline pump up our brains again.

And along the way, we might as well realize cheating will only kick our behinds sore when we take the SATs or final AP exams.

And that romances complicate our focus and apparently, no one knows how to handle them. Ever.

Why don't we now?

The bell-curve of course.

Some one has to take that average-C crest.

Sin is from the outside

Let's shake these demons off and bring Heaven DOWN.

Growing Up or Growing Older?

I don't remember a time when I wasn't concerned with getting older.

Kindergarten: Fifth-graders? Whoa, there. Practically adults. Okay, time to go back to playing with cardboard blocks.

Third grade: I'm getting too old for baby games now. *retrieves Tamagotchi* But those old people [namely, fourth-graders] never look like they're having any fun.

Fifth grade: *convulses with fear for middle school* What if I become...a TEENAGER?

Seventh grade: Ew, boys. *retreats to book*

Eighth grade: Eh, boys. Ew. HIGH SCHOOL! Gross. Oh, geez, what if I have no social life? What if I have no friends? What if people think I'm stupid? What if I don't get into an Ivy League? Oh, no! High school! Boys! Drama! *runs away screaming*

Age is wisdom, beauty, experience, knowledge, omniscience--all that nonsense that old people use to console themselves when they're feeling particularly fat/wrinkly/obsolete.

But that, obviously, is a choice.

Why feel fat when you can feel happy?

Why feel wrinkly when you can feel joyful?

Why feel obsolete when you can feel young?

Because of my back. Because of my spouse. Because of my arthritis in both knees. Because of my job. Because of my life. Because of my friends. Because I have absolutely NO PURPOSE in living.

No.

It's like this, see:

Growing older is mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

Beach

The shallow end; stay there, stay safe, no sharks, no drowning, no jellyfish stings.

Just sitting wherever you crap, tanning for the hunks, on one, small resort.

The deep end; sharks, jellyfish, drowning, concussions, popping ears, gasping breaths.

Seeing  plankton and starfish, battling fatigue, because the ocean never ends.

The shallow end; not a single scar on your body, perfect skin, sexy, slim, dieted bod.

Oh, and you got those hunks.  42-karet purity ring  thrown to the side when you climb in the hotel bed.

The deep end; some mutilated flesh, maybe? Permanent scars all over your gaunt face.

The salt detoxicate the poison, so you keep going, ignoring whatever is happening at the surface.

The shallow end; your turn to swim.

You drown. Because your size zero waist and cute butt can't run off the 1000 calories you consume. The tobacco might have disintegrated your lungs to phlegm and, oh, you never bothered to learn how to swim. It would mess up your perfect eye shadow. Duh.

The deep end; take a break, you've been swimming and diving so long.

Dear, your muscles flex when you walk. The hunks drool.

You walk past them all. You find that you can't stand to explain the ocean to them. It's too big.

A tsunami;

The tanners are screwed. Washed into the tides.

The swimmers barely flinch. What's a tsunami next to fighting mermen with tridents?

The swimmers hold out their hands.

The tanners grab on.

The shallow end; stay there, stay safe, forget about the tsunami.

Just sitting wherever you crap, tanning for the hunks, on one, small resort.

The deep end; sharks, jellyfish, drowning, concussions, popping ears, gasping breaths.

Seeing  plankton and starfish, battling fatigue, because the ocean never ends.

The quest continues.

Is it really useless? To understand yourself?

Of course it's ego central. Your world revolves around yourself.

Usually. If you're average. The mode. The median. The mean.

But if you don't understand yourself, how can you understand other people?

What they feel? What they think?

Humans learn by experience.

Less by emotion, because emotion screws up experience. Nevertheless, emotion and experience.

Constantly changing. Self-discovery is about finding those patterns.

Finding those patterns in others.

There are 疯人, les fous, crazy people - who have twisted logic, but that is inevitable.

You are the only person you can control. So maybe it is important to learn how your gears turn.

…

By rotation inertia, D'OH.

Because if you can't control yourself, very likely you will not be able to even influence others. And because the product of mass  and the square of the radius  equals  circular momentum.

No one who solves the world's problems doesn't know who he or she is.

Albert Einstein knew he was a scientist. He had some pretty sophisticated sounding epigrams  he left us after his death.

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

He was pretty sure about who he was and what he thought when he discovered the photoelectric effect , winning himself the Nobel Prize in physics.

And perfect people. Who wants perfection? It seems wonderful to live in that kind of crap for a year. Or maybe a lifetime. The one thing that screws humans over when it comes to perfection.. is greed. Pride. Self-indulging things. We could study and become IQ300 mad scientists and, seriously, solve the world's problems. If we just stopped buying ice cream for a year, likely over half of Africa would stop dying from thirst. But no, we want to hang out with our friends. We want to date, Facebook, play sports, you know, eat ice cream. How much more useful are those than self-discovery? Ego is what makes us human, not perfect robots.

Robots, by the way, rust.

Like so. Fe(OH)3 => Fe2O3.nH2O

And the quest begins.

Self-discovery, right?

I'm pretty sure there is not one person in the world who really knows who they are inside, and I doubt there ever will be.

But why is this the Great Human Obsession?

Who am I inside? Who am I outside? What do people think of me? What do I think of myself?

If you ask me, it's all pretty conceited and egocentric.

MEMEMEMEMEME! Me! Me! ME! Who likes ME? Who hates ME? What do I think of ME? Who is ME?

And yet we're told not to be self-obsessed.

I'm finding ME. I'm finding MYSELF. I want to do this so portray ME! My true SELF. And this will benefit ME!

But really, WILL it benefit you?

No, not really. It's a waste of time. Humans want to know about themselves, but this doesn't help current problems like world hunger or fighting cancer. Or what about those people dying? I bet THEY aren't thinking of MEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEE all the time.

There's a difference.

Finding yourself versus finding the solution.

You choose.