The Mile-High City

Look anywhere in the United States.
Seriously.
What do you see? Always? Everywhere?

That's right.

Fat people.

But after my trip to Colorado, I'm pretty sure that this state is the only exception. Fat people do not exist here. Maybe they're an endangered species. Maybe they're even...extinct.

I think I know why.

The citizens of Colorado have worked extremely hard on exterminating fat people. Every time they eat, they exercise immediately after. Breakfast! Hike. Lunch! Bike. Snack! Jog. Dinner! Powerwalk with your spouse, children, pets. Midnight snack! Lift weights until your biceps explode.

And so on.

This is probably why I didn't fit in with all these ATHLETIC AND OUTDOORSY people. I mean, who has the time to do all that hiking/biking/jogging/powerwalking/weightlifting?

So, doing the best I could, I walked a few of those paths and hiked a few of those trails, but I was certainly more at home in the hotel. With my laptop.

Instead of fat people, Colorado has elk.

I kid you not. Let me give you an analogy for those literal people out there.

McDonald's is to obese people as Colorado is to elk.

EVERYWHERE I LOOKED...elk. Elk on the road. Elk by a tree. Elk in a parking lot. Elk in the lake. Elk lollopping around a grassy park. Elk. Elk. Elk.

It gives a suburban freshman a bit of a fright, I gotta say.

I suppose that's what all the big dogs are for. In Boulder, Denver, Estes Park, and Grand Lake, every person had a large, very adorable dog and a cowboy hat. They were never on leashes. I think it's a cowboy thing. (Seriously. Why would anybody wear a hat for such a long time? Doesn't it get sweaty? I mean, Colorado's dry and hot, but still...you're bound to sweat sometime. And those boots get kind of tacky. Sorry.) It's a matter of opinion.

Being an indoorsy kind of girl (I really do mean INDOORSY--I don't leave the security of civilization unless I really, really have to), I was completely shocked at how breathtaking those mountains, rivers, and lakes are. The air is definitely cleaner, too. People are friendlier. The animals are happier.

Is it just me, or is Colorado a nature-freak's paradise?

The thing I'll remember most from this trip, though, is what I heard when I went whitewater rafting in Colorado Springs. (Everybody should try it. It's wickedly fun, and you don't have to be super ripped to do it or anything.) :

(Our guide from Tennessee, Dave, was greeting another guide. He called the other guide "brother." I'm pretty sure that "brother" is not actually "brother"'s real name, but for the sake of the spirit of whitewater rafting, that's what I'll call him.)

Dave: Hey, brother!

Brother: How ya doin'?

Dave. Most excellent.

Brother: Livin' the dream, eh?

Dave: Well, yeah! Some days I wake up to the occasional nightmare, but usually it's a dream.