Temperaments

Heart: You miss him.

Brain: No I don't.

Heart: ^^ Yeah you do.

Brain: Nope. He told me not to care anymore, remember?

Heart: Ironic. You can have emotions.

Brain: Guys don't have them. Who affords emotions in high school?

Heart: …

Heart: Like, everyone.

Brain: That makes me different then. Man up, heart.

Heart: You still take comfort thinking about it.

Brain: Really. Care to specify?

Heart:

Brain: Mm.

Heart: Your friends have seen you just drift off into your own little world.

Brain: And

Heart: I know what world you go into.

Brain: Well?

Heart:

Brain: That sounded like an Inception reference. Logic wins. Go away.

Brain: I should get over 50 pacers.

Heart: Good idea.

Brain: Wow 50 is easy.

Heart: Well, I'm kinda sweaty.

Brain: I think I should do 66.

Heart: *rasp

Brain:

Brain: Ugh. I only got 67. Look at those guys. They're still running.

Brain: ADSKFJK. That girl got 80? I want to run again.

Heart: You improved a lot.

Brain: It was shorter.

Heart: You still want to beat K-?

Brain: Duh. I want to run again. I could've done better.

Heart: I was about to explode.

Brain: My breathing technique was wrong. I keep forgetting.

Heart: Backing yourself up, yeah?

Brain: Shut up. Now I have to run a good mile.

Brain: These people are so freaking slow.

Heart: At painting?

Brain: Everything.

Heart: Give them a break.

Brain: They're pulling me down. I have more potential than this.

Heart: You need dumb people to make smart people look good. Bell curve, remember?

Brain: I should go to IMSA.

Heart: You can't. You have to stay and take care of your friends.

Brain: I have other friends.

Heart: You ruined your chance over the summer. Your SATs aren't good enough anymore.

Brain: THANKS. I KNOW. SHUT UP. IT'S TOO LATE.

Heart: Well?

Brain: I have to do Math Team. Science Olympiad. Badminton.

Heart: Good. You'll make up for not going to IMSA.

Brain: Those guys are going to be the next geniuses. They're going to be scientists and save the world. I'll be so dumbed down.

Heart: You wanted to be a doctor..

Brain: K- said I couldn't, remember? Mom also said I wasn't patient enough.

Heart: You're smart enough to do something else.

Brain: It's not that easy.

Heart: No duh. You can't substitute anything for hard work.

Brain: I have to succeed.

Heart:*snort. Your Teacher Letter. You're quoting that?

Brain: No. The Teacher Letter quoted me.

Heart: Fine. I'm with you on this.

Brain: No emotions.

Heart: Ugh.

Brain: Hello butt.

Butt: Hey.

Brain: Well aren't you big.

Heart: …

Brain: Mm?

Heart: Impatient for puberty much?

Brain: Dude. It's my own butt. Get out of here.

Heart: No way. It's my butt too. Don't get me into that emotional self-image stuff.

Brain: Thought you were supposed to embrace that once in a while.

Heart: Not on self-image.

Brain:

Heart: AHAHA. HEART USES LOGIC.

Brain: Dear. Haha okay you win. Good job.

Epidemic!

Of the female nerds.

I do not lie. Every other one of us is sick. I am 99% sure that the rest will follow as well.

After snuffling, hacking, and coughing my way through Labor Day weekend, though, I realized something very interesting. Very. Interesting.

And no, I did not realize that I sound like a sickly old man. Although it's true.

REGARDLESS...

I realized that my lovely little common cold gave me some insight on my actual world and my actual school.

It's difficult, you know. Becoming so suddenly aware of these things. Here's what I found out about myself:

1. Trusting people is good. I'm good at that. But I put my trust sometimes in the wrong people.
2. I'd much rather protect my friends than save myself first.
3. I'm oblivious. Really oblivious. But so hyperaware of everything else WOWWWW this world is screwed up.
4. I'm crazy. (Oh wait! Ahahaha, we knew that. I should really remove this from this list, but since I actually realized I'm crazier than I thought, I'll keep it.)
5. I'm a sucker for chick flicks, which makes me sound so unbelievably shallow. It's true. *sigh*

Altercations.

Brain: I believe in Jesus.
Heart: Why.

Brain: Because I see his works in my life, others' lives, and the world. Because Paul Copan proved it.

Heart: Why can't you explain that to your friends?

Brain:

Heart: Dear. I'm being more logical than you.

Brain: This isn't an emotion versus logic thing. It's a thought versus truth thing.

Heart: Sure, but I'm winning.

Brain: Then you explain the patterns in nature. The intricacy of atoms. The complexities of humans.

Heart: Just because its unexplained doesn't mean it isn't possible without God.

Brain: God exists.

Heart: You're just afraid to blaspheme and deny him.

Brain:

Heart: You don't understand the cross.

Brain: I know that.

Heart: You don’t appreciate Jesus because you don't believe in him enough.

Brain: You're saying he exists.

Heart: This might become a rather controversial blog post.

Brain: I know I'm not accepting enough. Isn't that just a human logic thing?

Heart: You know your obstacle.

Brain: It shouldn't be one anymore.

Heart: Yeah yeah, but it still is. I heard you at church today.

Brain: That was you.

Heart: Both of us.

Brain: Great. Who's going to help us then?

Heart: Stop being phony.

Brain: Really? If I become any less phony, I'll come off just plain arrogant. You know what adults think.

Heart: Think straight, brain. I'm talking about Christianity. You can't spread the word unless you believe yourself. The sermon today; you have to experience Jesus first.

Brain: We were talking about the existence of God; how did we get here?

Heart: You're confusing.

Brain: God is confusing.

Heart: Well sort it out soon because you can't waste more time.

Brain: I have four years in high school.

Heart: Oh stop it. You know what I'm talking about.

Heart: Do have any idea how many chances God gave you? SO. MANY. CHANCES. Okay so you're totally forgiven for the first couple times. You were cocky. But really? Afterwards?

Brain: You can't do that. You know what was going on.

Heart: I do. I'll give you up to February. You were insecure and recovering. But like, this summer?

Brain: You would not go there.

Heart: I'm the only one who can. Remember what R- said? 'You know [Beanut] would choose God over you any day.'

Brain: That was so obnoxious.

Heart: IT USED TO BE TRUE. Is it anymore? Was it these past few weeks?

Brain: You're continually contradicting yourself!

Heart: You missed what, at least twenty chances? Could you have at least said 'Jesus loves you'?

Brain: Going up in people's faces doesn't work. 

Heart: Irrelevant, boldface.

Brain: I don't want to think about it.

Heart: You're going to have to one day.

Brain: Grace 2010.

Heart: Sure. Good luck.

Brain: Luck? This is on God.

Sweet, Sweet Dough

Cookie Cake (koo key kayk) - noun
1. A vessel coagulator for children commemorating the day they slipped out of their mothers' wombs
2. A large, pancake-like pastry containing, in this order by quantity, oil, white sugar, butter, eggs, and baking powder

1/8 of a 12" cookie cake:
About 350 calories
Half a heart attack of saturated fat

I wonder if I can make a healthy cake.
/)_- Silly me. Margarine (let alone low fat margarine) is never used in any sort of cake. The cake would collapse without butter's firmness.
What's bad about butter?
WAHAHA. Butter is creamed sugar and fat.
But I like cake.
You don't want a flab abs.
I already have those. Can I just eat some cake?
No. Go do your homework.

Five Freshman Indicators

Really? You . . .
1. Walk through the hallways staring at a map.
2. Get in a clump and stare at people you don't know during class.
3. Sigh audibly with relief when you make it to each room.
4. Hug your friends at lunch like you haven't seen each other for years.
5. Just finished reading this list.

The Mile-High City

Look anywhere in the United States.
Seriously.
What do you see? Always? Everywhere?

That's right.

Fat people.

But after my trip to Colorado, I'm pretty sure that this state is the only exception. Fat people do not exist here. Maybe they're an endangered species. Maybe they're even...extinct.

I think I know why.

The citizens of Colorado have worked extremely hard on exterminating fat people. Every time they eat, they exercise immediately after. Breakfast! Hike. Lunch! Bike. Snack! Jog. Dinner! Powerwalk with your spouse, children, pets. Midnight snack! Lift weights until your biceps explode.

And so on.

This is probably why I didn't fit in with all these ATHLETIC AND OUTDOORSY people. I mean, who has the time to do all that hiking/biking/jogging/powerwalking/weightlifting?

So, doing the best I could, I walked a few of those paths and hiked a few of those trails, but I was certainly more at home in the hotel. With my laptop.

Instead of fat people, Colorado has elk.

I kid you not. Let me give you an analogy for those literal people out there.

McDonald's is to obese people as Colorado is to elk.

EVERYWHERE I LOOKED...elk. Elk on the road. Elk by a tree. Elk in a parking lot. Elk in the lake. Elk lollopping around a grassy park. Elk. Elk. Elk.

It gives a suburban freshman a bit of a fright, I gotta say.

I suppose that's what all the big dogs are for. In Boulder, Denver, Estes Park, and Grand Lake, every person had a large, very adorable dog and a cowboy hat. They were never on leashes. I think it's a cowboy thing. (Seriously. Why would anybody wear a hat for such a long time? Doesn't it get sweaty? I mean, Colorado's dry and hot, but still...you're bound to sweat sometime. And those boots get kind of tacky. Sorry.) It's a matter of opinion.

Being an indoorsy kind of girl (I really do mean INDOORSY--I don't leave the security of civilization unless I really, really have to), I was completely shocked at how breathtaking those mountains, rivers, and lakes are. The air is definitely cleaner, too. People are friendlier. The animals are happier.

Is it just me, or is Colorado a nature-freak's paradise?

The thing I'll remember most from this trip, though, is what I heard when I went whitewater rafting in Colorado Springs. (Everybody should try it. It's wickedly fun, and you don't have to be super ripped to do it or anything.) :

(Our guide from Tennessee, Dave, was greeting another guide. He called the other guide "brother." I'm pretty sure that "brother" is not actually "brother"'s real name, but for the sake of the spirit of whitewater rafting, that's what I'll call him.)

Dave: Hey, brother!

Brother: How ya doin'?

Dave. Most excellent.

Brother: Livin' the dream, eh?

Dave: Well, yeah! Some days I wake up to the occasional nightmare, but usually it's a dream.

When Suddenly, A Speech Impediment Is Thrust Upon You.

I WAS SO GLAD . .
. . to get my braces off. A stick of gum, a few notes on the trumpet, and a week later, I was still glad. Of course, I had my one-week-follow-up orthodontist appointment.
WHICH IS WHEN . .
. . I got my retainer. And my orthodontist told me that she was selling her baby grand and was I interested? I would have politely replied, EXCEPT that I had a hunk of plastic in my mouth.
"Hm, that's weird," the Doc told me. My heart skipped a beat. Would I need my braces back? "Did you ask for a color?"
Whew.
"No, I think I just asked for clear."
"Well, it looks like he started to mix yellow and something else in, then remembered. Oops!" My orthodontist says, handing me a chunky thing that looked like it better belonged in a McDonald's Happy Meal than in my mouth for several months. It had nasty veins of a sickly yellow in it. I retained--er, refrained--from making a face.
"Thank you." The words were GARBLED. I couldn't enunciate. And I had to wear this all the time? I sounded like I had a bad Catalan Spanish accent. What happened to "s" and "d"?
SO, I DECIDED THAT I'D NEVER . .
. . wear my retainer at school or on the phone. I guess I'll have to get used to getting quieter at home.
All part of the teenage awkward phase, right? With my luck, the lack of babbling will be interpreted as 'unusual emotional state' or the symptom of some really rare (nonexistent?) disorder.
WHERE'S THE MORAL . .
. . of the story? How's this: Choose two parents with perfect teeth and never get braces.
I should put my speech impediment back in now.
Cheers, K